I ran out of ideas while writing about myself either due to writer’s block & creativity provoke; I believe it’s inevitable to find reverence & skepticism in my story. To a larger extent, it may seem like contempt towards ingrained norms of society.
I grew up in a safeguarded family where overprotective nature from all had behavioral
transformation to my developmental stage. My father was running adrift to get ends meet in a different country while my mother was taking the multiple roles of an academician, poet, guardian, and financial guru. I was nurtured and controlled by these 3 power runners.
In the crux of that, people, directly and indirectly, disgraced my identity by calling me as a senseless fool, ‘He has the voice of female’, he is too feminine, he is not good at sport and consistent bullying. Who defines these gender roles & pathological acceptance of men should be a Greek god to fall into the category of masculinity norms. There were years when nobody identified my crisis and
labyrinth of discrimination nearly killed me. I would’ve become an anti-social, circumstances have given me that choice but alteration for good is your choice.
I surpassed the ages of self-doubt towards obsolete social norms which questioned my existence and continuous struggle of getting verbal abuse. I needed 19 long years to standby and say it’s enough
& to embrace the “Human” I’m. I’ve evolved for good and not anymore the awkward thought of what people might think would affect me.
It might be a question of apathy to the major quotient of men in the world who suffer the role identification in gender. Those who can’t tackle may fall into depression and other behavioral disorders. Where did I start to change from having suicidal tendencies over 5 years? It was considered to be the wrong choice when I did my master’s in Social Work. Who would’ve thought my perception will change for the good and I was designed to be a social worker. My uniqueness has
a purpose and it has nothing to do with unwanted norms of the society punched into each person’s, starting from birth.
Dear Human’s, where do you find the fit, when you are the misfit in many eyes?
(Perfect fit is a myth though)
That’s yet another story that I wish to inscribe later. Somehow, I figured out the way to think differently when larger patches think alike and I would say sometimes eating the birthday cake all by yourself will make you learn.
To the younger patch out there, it’s high time for us to think ahead & move out of the misery of pressures set by the people around. The key is with us & we can unlock the life codes, be it a Morse code or mace. When you choose to be true to you, everything in the universe will bound to help you to be strong. There is a need for you everywhere, you fit somewhere good, find it? Find your
purpose and let it do the rest for you. For the past year, I’ve trusted the process and everything is
falling in place since. This is an abstract story of a guy dwelling next door & who is living amongst you with a transformed spirit, and I would like to call it 'Humanism’.